She can go back to her husband when we’re done making love, right? The problem comes in when over time an attachment forms between the married woman and her ‘other man.’ Now she is growing used to the arrangement and has convinced herself that the triangle makes her disappointing marriage tolerable.If the ‘other man’ gets attached he will inevitably at some point start needing more from the married woman. My heart goes out to him more than any one else in this arrangement because he is usually the one who gets disturbed first and has more to lose.Then he can go after a whole and available single woman. He’s the ‘other man’s’ competition, but not really.The important thing about the married man is he’s probably coping with his limited marriage by doing something else (work, alcohol, substances, whatever consumes and distracts him).In some instances he ‘knows’ his wife is cheating on him and looks the other way.In other instances his defenses are so thick he doesn’t read the signs at least consciously.Triangles exist simply because a problem is not being resolved in a marriage.Two people get married and have marital problems, instead of resolving those problems either by fixing the relationship or ending it, which by the way can be a valid resolution of a problem, a third party is brought into the relationship, and now you have a triangle.
You are engaged in what is commonly thought of as a ‘triangle.’ Triangles are rough on the heart.In this kind of triangle with two men and a woman, there are instances when the two men fight over the woman.This kind of drama is amusing only because if they know how connected they both are and how much they have in common they might realize that it would be more profitable for both of them to have a conversation together about the whole thing in a coffee shop or something.It doesn’t matter how passionate the sex with the ‘other man’ in her life is, she is not leaving her husband.Usually at the beginning of such an arrangement, when the triangle is young so to speak, the ‘other man’ usually tells himself he likes this arrangement because he doesn’t have to make a commitment.All three people in this triangular arrangement have their issues.